Listening to Kate Taylor ( sex therapist ) at the Vagisan UK event in Camden, January 26th , it was interesting to hear her speak on the problems women encounter dating in mid life. The lack of confidence that ensues particularly around the details of bedroom activities, and I’m not referring to book at bedtime or reorganising the underwear draw…..
Women today face challenges in mid life which previous generations rarely experienced, challenging teenage years, ageing parents, work pressures and with all of this domestic carnage the partner can be overlooked. As the children leave home and the fog clears, a less complicated life “a deux” may seem appealing, but for some it is a time for change and a relationship of a different nature with a 'no strings' attached label might be an exciting alternative to the effort of recalibrating a long standing partnership for those ensuing years.
Based on a survey of 1000 men and women for the Sunday Times Style magazine the older generations, the baby boomers, are more likely to throw caution to the wind when it comes to sexual activity. 31% of women no longer seeing the need to use contraceptive as the sole purpose was to prevent pregnancy and thus, with such a risk no longer a factor they look forward to a new sexual dawn, unlike Generation Z and the young millennial's who are experiencing a sexual recession. One explanation for this being the result of increased use of porn and the subsequent pressure on the young to meet the expectations of SASOS ( sex as seen on screen ).
Referring back to this survey 56% of people dating in mid life are now using apps and dating websites. Of course, as is well documented, there is a down side of using these online searches for a partner in that there can be a tendency for artistic licence used by the subscribers. The temptation to take 10 years off one’s age, add 4 inches and drop 2 sizes etc all in the quest to gain winks and pokes ( or whatever the site may encourage). Whilst there can be humour in looking for love there can equally be disappointment and frustration as the search may require a long term strategy along with mental and physical stamina !
On a more positive note, as we age the enjoyment of sex increases with fewer inhibitions and a greater confidence borne from the experience of having 25 years under the belt. Nonetheless it would seem that for many there is a lack of confidence when it comes to body image and this relates to both men and women who yearn for the time when all the body parts stayed where they were supposed to, before the days the body decided to diversify !
Valentine’s Day encourages romance for all, it’s good for the soul, it boosts self-confidence and remember it’s never to late to get hitched……………………..