The Menopause - one man's perspective

Having read the article in the Guardian some week's back, it seemed appropriate to hear from a man and his heroic efforts to manage the menopause.


As you will be well aware, it is not easy being a man. There he is, living a straightforward life, able to effortlessly tackle all of life’s problems even though he can only do one task at a time, free from emotions and only disturbed by his failure to remember where he puts things. But then this idyll is well and truly shattered and gone forever when he finds that special person in his life  is entering what I now know is The Menopause.


How can men handle that? Well, they can handle their own “male” menopause quite easily enough of course because it’s kept simple. That particular problem is widely considered to be a mid-life crisis where one has the feeling that he has achieved so little in life (a fact of which they are constantly reminded of by their partners!).

The male solution is fairly straightforward; they simply indulge themselves by, in so many cases, taking up a self-absorbing and time-consuming hobby;  angling, woodwork, or collecting beer mats. But with women, as we’d expect, it has to be a lot more complicated – which, again, is why men cope so badly when their partners succumb to it;…..


What’s happening? Oh no ! more mood changes.  Just when he thought it was safe to start talking to her again, the irritability and unforgiving comments seem to flow more readily and in response, the man returns to his own space to strategise the most sympathetic and appropriate responses which over the years had become a little worn.


And what’s this at two o’clock in the morning? There used to be a time when he loved it that she was so hot and keeping him up all night: but things are changing.  Man now has to spend the night trying to capture at least some of the bedding that is being thrown around by his loved one, or getting up to fetch a glass of water or a fan. Broken sleep, not a good recommendation for a fruitful and positive start to the day.


To be frank, the most worrying symptom for men ( and I stress, I speak for myself ) is to realise that the menopause impacts on the  woman’s miraculous capacity for memory, and it slowly dawns on him that she can’t always be relied on to remember where all his things are. That is when living with the menopause finally hits us males hard, he knows that he now also has to change, by having to do the impossible…… start to take some personal responsibility! Which, the women will cry............At Last.


September 10, 2018 — Barbara Warren

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